By Ashra Sherwood
With the end of 2020 fast upon us, many people may be considering new years resolutions for the year ahead. A New Years resolution is a promise that a person makes to themselves, a goal, to improve their life in the coming year. And while setting goals is great, achieving them is awesome! We even have protocols about how to set ‘SMART’ goals in order to maximise their impact and successful implementation. (Here’s a quick explanation: S is for specific, M is for measurable and meaningful, A is for achievable, R is for realistic, and T is for time-bound. So, an example of a SMART goal would be “I will be able to complete a 10km run in 1 hour, three times per week, by December 31st 2020”).
Setting goals in this way helps to make our aims concrete; it gives us a path to follow, and a way of knowing when we’re successful. Without goals, creating positive change in our lives can be a bit like playing darts blindfolded.
But here’s the rub. In a society where achievement is king and doing more is better, people can get very self-critical or disheartened when, on the way to achieving their goal, they have set-backs or ‘relapses’ to old behaviours. In these cases, people often seem to think they have failed. But the path to change and the achievement of goals is not a nice, straight line. Far from it! It is usually a maze of twists and turns.
The moments when you find yourself ‘off track’ – far from being failures – are an important part of the process. It is during these times that you can bring awareness to the situation, get in touch again with what’s important to you (hint: any committed action should be based on your Values), and re-direct your behaviour once more. This is how you can build such excellent qualities as patience, persistence, strength, resilience, integrity, honesty, and self-compassion. Bonus!
So, I am going rogue and declaring war (well, a brief scuffle anyway) on goals. Yes, they are useful. But they are only a part of the process. You may wish to consider embracing the idea of Intention. Somehow, Intention provides some space, an allowance for the fact that the road to success is often bumpy, and sprinkled with unexpected hurdles, scary monsters, and delays. No matter! Intention reminds you that you will get there in the end. So set your goals, and then use the concept of Intention to mobilise your attention, attitudes, energy, and behaviour to move toward what you want. And know that you get to make mistakes because you’re human.
And because every little step counts.
If you would like some support in achieving positive change in your life, please get in touch with us or you can go to https://headtohealth.gov.au/ to find digital mental health resources that meet your needs.