In February 2020, our lives changed. Familiar things that we could count on, and that we didn’t give much thought to – like being able to hug our loved ones or purchase essential groceries – were all of a sudden taken away. And all of this was happening as a result of a tiny microbe.
The COVID pandemic has been felt as a very stressful, very anxious time for many people. A major reason for this is the enormous level of UNCERTAINTY that we are being confronted with. You may have noticed you have a lot of “What if…” thoughts running through your mind. Some common ones are What if I get sick? What if have to go to hospital? How will the family get on without me? What if I don’t get a job? What if the kids fall behind at school? These thoughts can trigger a whole cascade of other thoughts, emotions and body sensations. Before you know it, anxiety and stress are pervading your day. How does this happen?
When we are faced with uncertainty, this can be interpreted by the human brain as a threat to survival; the primitive alarm system of the body is activated (Fight or Flight), and more evolved parts of the brain get to work planning, preparing and problem-solving the situation. This is where all the ‘what if…’ thoughts come from – they are attempts by the brain to find a solution to the uncertainty, and regain a sense of control. But this anxiety/worry cycle can get stuck because i) there is no direct physical threat to survival in that moment ii) there are many external factors that are simply not controllable. This means that the ‘threat’ is never resolved, and so the brain and body just get caught in an anxiety loop.
So, what can you do instead? You can help re-train your body’s alarm system by interrupting the anxiety/worry cycle. You can build inner resilience by developing what Psychologist’s call ‘distress tolerance’ (coping with distressing thoughts, emotions, and body sensations as they arise) and overcoming ‘intolerance of uncertainty’ (believing uncertainty is bad and trying to eliminate it through worry/planning).
Try this mindful grounding technique: when you notice yourself feeling anxious or worrying, first hit the pause button and notice what is going on for you. Stop what you are doing, perhaps even say ‘stop’ to yourself. Notice what thoughts are passing through your mind, what emotions are here? What body sensations are you feeling? Let them be there, just as they are. Next, shine the spotlight of your attention on your breath. Breathe deeply and slowly, in through the nose, and out through the mouth as if you were blowing bubbles. Feel the sensations of the breath as it moves in and out, especially in the abdomen. Follow the flow of your breath for a minute or two, and when you find you are distracted by a thought or feeling, that’s okay! Just notice it and bring your attention back to your breath as often as you need to. Finally, open the spotlight of your attention out wide again to notice the feel of your whole body, and also what you can sense all around you. What can you see, hear, feel, or smell? Locate yourself in the here and now.
During the pandemic, there seems to be no stable ground. But can we re-invent what stability means to us? On the one hand, we can learn to tolerate uncertainty, and build new coping skills like the mindfulness process we’ve discussed above. But we can also reflect on what it is that is unchanging in our lives. Is there something that is always with us, no matter how much change we find going on inside, and outside, of us?
The answer is you. In Buddhist psychology, it is taught that the essence of who you are, the pure awareness and feeling of “I am”, is unchanging. Think about it: everything that you have been through, seen, felt, thought, done has already happened. It is done, and gone. Yet you are still here, the one who experienced all that. So, at any time, and especially when the anxiety of uncertainty is starting to consume your attention, you can get in touch with that inner sense ‘you’. As you do that, and as you practice new coping skills like the one mentioned above, you will find that you can get through this … with resilience, patience, and kindness for yourself and others in these ‘unprecedented times’.
And remember, we all need help at times. So please, reach out for support. We are here to help.